When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (2022)

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  • September 14, 2016 at 10:53 am#564243Reply

    When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (2)

    Hello just a quick question, i’ve been to numerous datig website and this same old question is always the topic.

    What should i say when a guy asks me : what are you searching for on this website ? Or why are you there ?

    I feel like if i say i’m looking for something serious that they totally freak out taking it personally like i was saying : i want a serious relationship with you or the first person i agree to see in flesh.

    Or if i just say i just wanna meet new people etc its not enough precise and my goal is to bust people who just want sex so how should i say things clearly ? I dont want one night stands and want to find a serious relationship without scaring them off away

    September 14, 2016 at 11:09 am#564249Reply

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    When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (3)

    Cara I think short and simple is best if your responding via email/text. When you meet the guy most likely the question will come up again…then you can go into more detail if needed.

    “I am looking for someone I can spend quality time with and hopefully develop into something more serious.”

    “I am looking for someone who shares the same passions I do and wants similar things out of life…like a serious relationship.”

    I am looking for someone who is honest, caring and is looking for a serious relationship.”

    I don’t think these answers would scare a guy away and if it does then you know he wasn’t looking for something serious.

    I once had on my profile I was looking to have fun with someone so of course I had to change that!

    September 14, 2016 at 11:13 am#564253Reply

    When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (4)

    I tell guys this: I’m looking to making a connection that will hopefully turn into something serious.

    If a guy gets freaked out by that he’s not someone worth your time anyways.

    September 14, 2016 at 11:39 am#564261Reply

    When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (5)

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    You will not scare a good serious guy away if you tell them what you are looking for. Only flakes will flee, which would be a good thing.

    Both men and women respect it when a person knows what they want and make conscious efforts at getting it. There is nothing wrong about wanting a serious relationship, this does not mean you are going to jump into it instantly. So it all depends on how you phrase it but it is very important to be direct about what you want. Depending on your age, I would even go as far as to say that if you are not looking for the same things then I’d appreciate it you move along and don’t waste my time (well, say it differently, but this is the essence of things).

    Most men do look for serious relationships as well, but in the process many of them don’t mind getting laid here and there, spend a month or three with different women, but women get emotionally involved and waste their time and feelings on such men.

    If you screen guys very diligently at the very beginning, very early on, your chances of finding what you want without emotional damage would be much better. You might not go on as many dates, but the dates you’d have would be of higher quality.

    September 14, 2016 at 11:43 am#564263Reply

    When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (6)

    I agree with Maria. These guys are running because they don’t want serious. That’s a good thing. It saves your time! Never be scared to say what you want.

    September 14, 2016 at 11:52 am#564265Reply

    When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (7)

    A guy looking for something serious will not get “freaked out” only ones who aren’t which is what you want so you don’t waste your time. I’ve always told guys right off the bat I am looking to get married & they’ve all thought it was great, none have gotten “weirded out” because if they have any sense lol they know it doesn’t mean necessarily with them, next week haha it means just what the question asks: what are you looking for in your romantic life.

    September 14, 2016 at 12:59 pm#564291Reply

    When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (8)
    Omi G

    Most mature men, will be honest with you in what they are looking for too. Everyone is open to looking until someone grabs their attention. That’s what dating is! Some people expect the very next person to settle down though lol that’s what’s freaking the men out these days too. Not saying that’s you but they are out there. This is what I said on my profile when I tried online dating. Something along these lines

    “I am open to meeting someone where things can evolve and grow into whatever possibilities that may lead to.”

    Then if we ever make it past the first date and we both like each other, and when asked further what I am wanting. I tell them that marriage and children are part of my future wants.

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    When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (9)
    Omi G

    Everything what Maria said too.

    September 16, 2016 at 3:20 am#564686Reply

    When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (10)

    Just be honest. I agree with the others. I would often state qualities l was looking for in a man -…lm looking for a man who is a good match for me, emotionally intelligent, masculine yet not overly dominant (bossy!) I also stated l was dating to meet a man who interested me, someone l wanted to get to know more. Inwas looking for a partner in ‘crime’ (always be light hearted and fun!) But ultimately l.was ready for a relationship which was right for me!
    I weeded out hundreds – and yes didn’t have many dates – but the ones l did have were excellent, and in less than 2 months l found my current chap – 10 months in all is going well, and one of the qualities he likes most about me is the fact that l know what l want and won’t settle for less.
    Put it out there what you want – scaredy cats need not apply!!! Lol

    February 19, 2021 at 9:41 am#844093Reply

    When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (11)

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    Okay to be totally honest, when I start chatting with a guy online and one of his first questions is “what are you looking for?”, this is a huge red flag for me. Almost always this means he is just looking for casual sex. I think if he were really interested in me as a person there would be more interesting icebreaker questions to ask first, rather than trying to immediately hone in on how fast he can get me to sleep with him (which is EXACTLY what “what are you looking for?” is code for) I also get kind of offended that I’m required to label what I want ahead of time without even knowing the guy. I also love love love what Maria wrote. That is the confident and assertive approach.

    November 3, 2021 at 3:34 am#929157Reply

    When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (12)

    I don’t go into details because he might be looking for a blueprint to be exactly what I want to reel me in. Narcissists or abusers do this. Anything about looking to make a connection with the right person and seeing where it goes should suffice

    November 3, 2021 at 11:24 am#929159Reply

    When he asks you : what are you looking for ? - a new mode (13)

    My two cents-

    1st off I don’t like online dating and have only ever dated or talked to folks I met IRL. So maybe these rules don’t apply. BUT-

    I actually had a guy ask me this, one who was just very present and persistent and obviously interested, and it was because he was actually interested in the “whole thing”- he wanted a serious 1:1 relationship, wanted a new life partner, definitely wanted to get married etc. how do I know this? Because he literally told me- he had asked me this over text after 2 dates, I think because at that point I knew I didn’t want him and had refused to accept a 3rd date (kept blowing him off), so then he asked. I didn’t respond so he just double-texted and told me what he was looking for. Point being, trying to share a positive story with you that there ARE men out there who want someone to share their life with, which hopefully will be good news to some of y’all out there. Definitely agree with Khadija- bottom line, if a guy “freaks out” over anything you say (seriously), especially early on,

    NEXT! Because he sure ain’t worth your time. I can elaborate more on this if you wish with examples, just lmk! good luck and ALWAYS BE OKAY BY YOURSELF FIRST, before you even think about adding a man to your life. If you’re feeling needy you need to stop with the men and instead work on yourself.

  • Author



What are you looking for in a man? ›

Confidence. A confident man is secure in himself and in your relationship with him. While he appreciates your support, he doesn't need validation from you. He's happy at your success and supports you in the decisions you make, making confidence one of the most important qualities to look for in a man.

What to say when a guy asks you what are you looking for? ›

I think a woman should say. You know I'm looking for something on the more serious in but I know it

What do you want in a man answer? ›

The 10 Most Important Things to Look for In a Guy
  • He makes you feel loved. Do you feel cared about, liked, and loved by the guy who you are with? ...
  • He's fiscally fit. ...
  • He doesn't get jealous. ...
  • He respects you for who you are. ...
  • He has confidence. ...
  • He has a sense of humor. ...
  • He listens and talks. ...
  • He wants to make you happy.
19 May 2018

What to say when someone asks what you're looking for in a relationship? ›

Possible things to look for in a relationship include emotional maturity, mutual trust and respect, friendship, physical attraction, and clear communication. Ask your date to share what they are looking for as well to determine if the two of you are compatible.

What are red flags in a guy? ›

13 red flags in a relationship to look out for
  • Overly controlling behavior. Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag. ...
  • Lack of trust. ...
  • Feeling low self-esteem. ...
  • Physical, emotional, or mental abuse. ...
  • Substance abuse. ...
  • Narcissism. ...
  • Anger management issues. ...
  • Codependency.
1 Feb 2022

What makes a man interested in a woman? ›

Men love women who are thoughtful, caring, loving and kind. A woman who does little things for her man for no other reason other than that she loves him. A woman who makes him smile back whenever she smiles at him. A woman who radiates love and warmth from her heart.

What is a good question to ask a guy? ›

– Questions to ask a guy
  • What are your personal goals?
  • What kind of childhood did you have?
  • What makes you insecure?
  • What do you expect from a love relationship?
  • What's the one thing you can't tolerate?
  • What do you find attractive in a woman?
  • What expectations do you have of yourself?

What to say when a guy ask what you think about him? ›

The best way to answer this question honestly is to simply say something like, “I think you're a really great guy and I enjoy spending time with you.” What is this? This shows that you like him without giving away too much information.

How do you tell a guy Im looking for a relationship? ›

Casually saying “I'm interested in a relationship that progresses toward a commitment at some point.” Is a statement of what you want your life to look like. You aren't saying “YOU MUST GIVE ME A COMMITMENT” or giving them an ultimatum. You are discussing your standards. Discussing your standards is great.

How do you ask where a relationship is going? ›

Here are some tips to help the conversation go more smoothly, according to experts.
  1. Don't Go In Too Seriously. ...
  2. Be Clear About Your Feelings. ...
  3. Be Direct And Don't Bail Out. ...
  4. Look For Their Gut Reponse. ...
  5. Try To Make It A Back-And-Forth Conversation. ...
  6. Have A Plan If It Doesn't Go The Way You Want.
17 Sept 2018

How do you know what you want in a relationship? ›

10 steps to figuring out what you want in a relationship
  1. Define your core values, and make a list. ...
  2. Evaluate past relationships. ...
  3. Use your values from other areas to determine things to look for. ...
  4. Turn to couples you admire. ...
  5. Value yourself first. ...
  6. Practice this self-awareness exercise. ...
  7. Don't be afraid to spend some time alone.
13 Sept 2021

What is a good man in a relationship? ›

Many will agree that a good man is committed to his relationship and partner. A good man regards and respects his partner even in disputes. He understands that relationships demand love, patience, commitment, and endurance. One of the signs you have a good man is when you see him as your safe place.

What are the 5 most important things in a relationship between? ›

5 essentials for a healthy relationship
  • 1: Open communication. One hallmark of a healthy relationship is the ability to communicate openly. ...
  • 2: Listening and feeling heard. Having someone listen to us and feeling heard is important. ...
  • 3: Working through disagreements. ...
  • 4: Mutual intimacy. ...
  • 5: Trust.

What is mutual intimacy in a relationship? ›

The concept of intimacy involves a mutually consensual relationship where two individuals reciprocate intimate moments and feelings of trust, emotional and physical closeness towards each other.

What do you want from your partner? ›

Affection, compassion, respect, and consideration should be expected in a romantic relationship. You should also expect your partner to share their time, interest, and generosity with you.

How do you tell if a guy wants a serious relationship? ›

11 Early Signs Someone's Truly Interested In A Long-Term Relationship
  1. They've Had Long-Term Relationships In The Past. ...
  2. They've Asked About Your Dating History. ...
  3. They Drop Hints About Their Relationship Goals. ...
  4. They're Making Small Commitments Already. ...
  5. They Make Conversations A Priority. ...
  6. They Open Up About Their Life.
24 Aug 2018

How do I make him beg for attention? ›

  1. 27 Surefire Ways to Make a Guy Beg for Your Attention. Photo by ALICE POLLET on Unsplash. ...
  2. Get a Sexy New Look. ...
  3. Add Some Spice to Your Day-to-Day Routine. ...
  4. Make an Entrance. ...
  5. Be Mysterious. ...
  6. Show You Have a Sense of Humor. ...
  7. Show Off Your Confidence. ...
  8. Be a Flirt.

How can you tell he's not the one? ›

  • There are obvious red flags in the relationship.
  • He shows a general unwillingness to work on the relationship together.
  • He belittles you in front of others.
  • He doesn't support your dreams.
  • They give you numerous reasons not to trust them.
  • You don't want the same things.
  • None of your friends or family seem to like them.
20 Apr 2020

How do you make a man cry for you? ›

Make him cry by emphasizing how deeply you're in love with him. Be honest about all the romantic feelings you have about him, and tell him in detail about how he makes you feel. You can show your love to someone in many ways, but just sometimes, you need to hear (or read) those words to feel reassured.

How do you make a man fall crazy in love with you? ›

How To Make Guy Fall In Love With You: 20 Simple And Crazy Ways
  1. Dress up confidently. Take pride in dressing up and embrace yourself like the queen. ...
  2. Make him smile. ...
  3. Take a stand for him. ...
  4. Smell great. ...
  5. Take an interest in his hobbies and interests. ...
  6. Carry your style. ...
  7. Try to be his friend. ...
  8. Be yourself.
20 Sept 2022

How do you attract a man emotionally? ›

16 Simple Ways To Create Emotional Attraction With A Man
  1. Use physical touch to create intimacy. ...
  2. Compliment him. ...
  3. Don't jump into bed with him too quickly. ...
  4. Make sure your relationship isn't just physical. ...
  5. Commit to this relationship. ...
  6. Take an interest in his hobbies. ...
  7. Be thoughtful and show you care. ...
  8. Listen to him.
4 Feb 2022

What's a good flirty question? ›

Cheeky Flirty Questions to Ask a Girl

What would you do If I kissed you right now? What is your biggest turn on? What is your biggest turn off? Do you prefer cuddling or kissing?

What should I ask him over text? ›

Best Questions To Ask A Guy Over Text
  • What movie could you watch repeatedly and never get bored?
  • Tell me what your perfect weekend looks like?
  • Would you ever go onto a reality show to find a date?
  • What's the most embarrassing thing you have ever done in front of your crush?
19 Aug 2022

What's the best answer to a boyfriend when he asks you about your future plans? ›

His reply should start a good conversation. I would suggest saying something like this, “That my dear is an excellent question, what are YOUR future plans, I have been wondering that myself!” How do you know your relationship with your boyfriend is solid enough to start planning about the future together?

How do you reply to what do you think about me? ›

I wish I could draw that well!" Instead of a neutral answer like, "You're always nice to everyone," you can say, "You really go out of your way to be kind and compassionate to other people." Use words that are specific and stand out as positive, like "talented" and "compassionate." Try things like: "You're fearless!

How do you show a guy you're serious about him? ›

11 Things Men Appreciate More Than Saying "I Love You"
  1. of 11. Give him your undivided attention. ...
  2. of 11. Wear that dress he loves on you. ...
  3. of 11. Make him his favorite meal. ...
  4. of 11. Take care of yourself. ...
  5. of 11. Encourage him to take time for himself. ...
  6. of 11. Compliment his looks. ...
  7. of 11. Ask for his advice. ...
  8. of 11.
22 Jan 2019

How do you tell if a guy wants to date you? ›

Does He Want To Date Me? How To Determine If He's Interested
  1. He Makes A Lot Of Eye Contact. ...
  2. Body Language. ...
  3. He Always Seems To Smile When You're Around. ...
  4. You've Been Introduced To His Social Circle. ...
  5. He Spends A Lot Of Time With You. ...
  6. Playful Teasing. ...
  7. Compliments. ...
  8. He Pays Attention To You And Remembers Your Conversations.
2 May 2022

What are girls looking for in a guy? ›

Women desire a man who is honorable, fair, and ethical. In terms of relationships, having integrity can help strengthen the bond a man has with a woman, as his moral principles will guide his behavior and help him to be the best partner that he can be.

What do you want from a man? ›

  • He's smart. ...
  • He makes you laugh. ...
  • He actively supports your career. ...
  • He makes as much effort with your friends and family as you do with his. ...
  • He's emotionally intelligent. ...
  • He respects your opinions and listens to what you have to say. ...
  • He's willing to put the work in. ...
  • He celebrates your achievements.
6 days ago

What makes a man want to marry you? ›

Sociologists researched traits that men tend to want their potential wife to have. These preferences include: Mutual attraction and love. Passion and friendship.

What do men need in a relationship? ›

Men want love as badly as women do. They just might not always be as obvious about it. But generally, they want the same thing: friendship, companionship, chemistry.

What do men like in a woman physically? ›

Most men love booty, even if they won't admit it. No, you don't need to have large breasts to get guys to pay attention to you. In fact, most men prefer average to slightly smaller sized breasts. As long as they are perky and pretty, you're good to go.

What are the 5 most important things in a relationship between? ›

5 essentials for a healthy relationship
  • 1: Open communication. One hallmark of a healthy relationship is the ability to communicate openly. ...
  • 2: Listening and feeling heard. Having someone listen to us and feeling heard is important. ...
  • 3: Working through disagreements. ...
  • 4: Mutual intimacy. ...
  • 5: Trust.

What are you looking in a life partner? ›

One of the most valuable qualities to look for in a partner is respect. When you find someone who encourages you to be yourself, you can feel secure in your relationship, yet independent within yourself. It's easy to feel loved when someone encourages you to do what lights you up and makes you happy.

What's the first thing guys notice in a girl? ›

Your mouth. A lady's mouth is often the very first part of a woman a guy will see. Not only are great lips and teeth sexy, but guys will look to your mouth for social cues, as it's the most expressive feature you possess.

What do you first notice in a guy? ›

Your Hair/Beard

Your hair is the most noticeable thing to a woman and usually it helps them decide if they really like it or understand it! Maybe because it's the topmost physical feature on your body.

Can a man love two woman at the same time? ›

You can absolutely fall in love with two people at the same time,” he says. “Walt Whitman was right — you contain multitudes. Someone might bring out your confident, sexy side and you'll love them for it. A second person might make you feel safe, loved and deeply connected, and you'll also fall for that person.

How do you make him give me what I want? ›

Here's how to get what you want from a man and get him to do anything, using 7 brilliantly simple tricks.
  1. Try the damsel in distress act. ...
  2. Give him something he loves. ...
  3. Make him think the idea was his. ...
  4. Ask in a sweet tone of voice. ...
  5. Butter him up with compliments. ...
  6. Lean in for a long kiss.
22 Mar 2022

How do you make a man want you? ›

Here are some tips and tricks from relationship and matchmaking experts that can help you get a man to focus his attention on you.
  1. Smile. TODAY. ...
  2. Don't hide in the corner. ...
  3. Ask for his help. ...
  4. Talk about your hobbies. ...
  5. Don't dress for your girlfriends. ...
  6. Look him in the eye. ...
  7. Avoid the obvious. ...
  8. Go out alone or with one other friend.
20 Jul 2016

How do you charm a man? ›

There are lots of ways to use your wit, personality, and charm to attract a good guy.
Here are some tips.
  1. Stand tall and proud. ...
  2. Think positively. ...
  3. Use your eyes. ...
  4. Smile -- but mean it. ...
  5. Go out in groups of women, but no more than three. ...
  6. Dress like you care.
28 Jan 2012


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